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It’s that day of the month… again. It’s anticipated (my cycle is a regular 28-day roulette-and I always hit the jackpot every. single. time. lucky me! IKR! That’s why the moment I’m delayed for that two rare-never-to-repeat again occasions, I already knew that I was pregnant, I just need the PT and the TVS to convince the family and the OB that I am, indeed expecting! I’ll talk about this next time!)
It’s that day of the month… again. And I’m so thrilled, said no woman ever. But guess where the fountain of youth really is placed? I thought so, too. It’s down under! Mother nature really has an awesome sense of humor! Don’t believe me? How and where did your bundle-of-joy came out again? And don’t start me with toddlers, they’re charming and crazy creatures! She paired the longing-to-be-free babies to control-freak moms!
Back to menses…
It’s as if, I’m loading my abdomen with bricks. The pain is constant, and when I avoid certain things (like cold anything -drinks, baths, relationships…), it is quite tolerable, and thanks to my evening primrose once each of my red days, that usually take 3 to 5 days, the throbbing part of the cramping is tuned down. Mood swings, bearable (I hope so). But what I’m real worried about, was when it will fall on a scheduled site inspection! OMG, square root of four is two!
Site inspection means bracing myself for the sun’s scorching heat, while dodging the reinforcing bars sticking out up the freshly dried concrete stairs right after bending my way under the steel web we called scaffoldings while inhaling the welding smoke and the stubborn cement dust in the air – if not the freshly painted walls! All that drama while I’m inside my hot safety vest, hot hard hat, hot (more like sweaty – red sweat) pants and hot body -my skin filmed with a layer of good ole’ sunscreen. Oh my John Lloyd!
Giving birth also adds tragedy to this equation – my friend down under took a bigger room, which means, the surge when I stood up, or bend, or move, cough, sneeze, and laugh is a whole lot heavier – and when I said heavier, I said it like it’s an agitated Sumo wrestler stomping down a foot.
I searched high and low for a tool to keep my back(ass) dry and my pants stain-free at least while I’m on the go. Believe me when I said that I tried this, done that. And for the sake of authenticity, yes, I tried and became fond of using baby diapers (most specifically during my first menstruations six-month postpartum, because I exclusively breastfed the boys) and boy, it was a disaster saved by grace! By grace I meant by a jacket or a scarf twisted around my waist! I also tried rolling a paper towel and nip it in between the cheeks of my bum (I learned this from my teacher back in college). This is most effective when sleeping to avoid stains on the bed sheet. Lastly, I always cover my seat with either a paper bag or a plastic bag – whichever is on my arm’s length.
I always dread, forebode, resent the red days! I even imagined myself more than once not so long ago, of inventing a vacuum that’ll do the menses in just a flick of a button in less than a minute- what a breeze it would be!
I shared my period nightmares to my girlfriends (aka Titas of Manila, Makati branch) one girl’s night out (when I bravely escaped the breastfeeding toddler with a set of front teeth, if you’re a breastfeeder, you can imagine the suspense of pulling the nipple out of that sleeping baby) and told my cringe-worthy tales and the sweet metallic pungency that comes with it.
What one of my sisters shot my way was THE answer to all of my dilemmas! The cork to my red wine, the plug to my drain, the tampon to my vajayjay – Playtex 360 Gentle Glide! Insert it and forget* about it!
The Playtex 360 Gentle Glide Tampons.
Triple Layer Design – 3 layers for extra protection. It reminds me of a flower blooming.
Duraclean Wrapper – purse resistant for protection on the go. Small, light, and separately wrapped for sanitation.
Comfort Shape Plastic Applicator – for sure fit placement. It actually looks like a supersized sperm cell, or a penis, that’s fitting!
The right and wrong.
First off, it’s quite hard to look for tampons here in the Philippines. It’s actually a taboo – cringe-worthy, a one-eyebrow raiser and a head turner (like a no-no kind of head turn). Once, I found a couple of boxes in Watsons, but most of the time, you can only buy on SNR and Duty Free, according to my blogger friend.
Insert it wrong and you would walk all day with a rough wood inside your lady part, so put it right the first time!
How To: Playtex Tampon with Comfort Shape Plastic Applicator
Like how you do everything, wash your hands first, include the insides of your fingernails.
Step 1: Get Comfortable: Sit on the toilet bowl, or stand with one foot on the toilet. (I’m used on doing it while standing.)
Step 2: Hold the non-Slip Grid using your thumb and middle. Gently slide the smooth, tapered applicator all the way into your vagina until you fingers touch your body. (Try to align the applicator on the direction of your vaginal wall.)
Step 3: Push the small tube of the applicator into the larger tube with your pointer finger. This will release the tampon inside. (I imagine it like pushing an injection.)
Step 4: Gently pull out the two-piece applicator. The tampon should now be comfortably inside you with the strings (hanging) outside your body. (You know you placed it right, if it feels like nothing’s in there. During my heavy-days, I place a thin napkin, moderate days panty liner, and when I see a spot or leak, that’s the time that I know it’s already full and that I need to change.) Throw the applicator away. DO NOT FLUSH. I REPEAT. DO NOT FLUSH.
Step 5: Run, dance, swim, whatever! Seize the day! Defy your period!
Step 6: After 4 – 8 hours (depending on your flow. Mine only last for two hours when the flow is heavy.) Relax your muscles. Sit in the bowl, or stand with one foot on the toilet (whichever you’re comfortable with) and gently pull down on the string.
Yes or No.
Dra. Lydia Jamora explains how to safely use Playtex Tampons.
- It takes away virginity. – NO
- It will get lost inside. – NO
- It feels like a stick is inside you. – NO
- Swim when the red flag is up. – NO with napkin. Yes with Playtex Tampons!
*Toxic Shock Syndrome, TSS.
What I meant about inserting it and forgetting about it, was to put the tampon on and get along with it, focus on your task at hand, break a leg (no puns intended)! But always be aware that you are wearing a tampon, (if the cramps won’t remind you, set an alarm, that’s how paranoid I am the first time I used tampons). Google it and you’ll know how crucial it is to change your tampons.
I hoard when it’s available and I look for it (search all the nearby drugstores and supermarkets just to get a box) that’s how dependent I am to tampons. I need it and I find it easy to use. What I personally do is, I save the tampons for when I need to go out, it’s not cheap anyway (but it’s worth it!). I use it before heading out, and change to napkin when I get home (or when its already full, or the time is up, whichever comes first) and then change to napkin again to rest from the tampon – to let the private organ breathe. That’s my best possible solution to avoid TSS.
I hate it when my blood gets in contact with my lips and it’s moustache down there, plus the plastic on the sides of the napkin irritate my groin and the struggle to stop myself from scratching the lady part in public or in CCTV because it’s unladylike is real! The metallic pungent smell is also less with tampons since blood won’t oxidize and smell.
Easy to use, very convenient and hygienic.
Visit Playtex on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PlaytexTamponsPH/
Now, I can bend, twist and turn to avoid the scaffoldings and the rebars sticking out without worrying about my napkin misaligning or worse, the client/architect smelling the fish!
Ride a bike, do antigravity yoga or dance with a pole! Whatever fits your mood, you hormonal female! You could do with Playtex tampons!
Defying taboo in a field dominated by men,
PS. I pushed myself to finished my deadlines in time to attend the Playtex event at Chef and Brewer because I really want to know more about it – the good news that it’ll be more available locally, and most probably, grab some tampons before heading out. Silly silly me! Thank you so much for having me, Playtex Tampons Philippines and Ms. Merfe!
PPS. Hep, don’t finish that chocolate bar just yet, I have more chikkas! Stay tuned!